Thoughts Of Family
by Liquid-Thalassa
Summary: Carlos reflects on family and belonging and what was there all along. One-shot. Give it a read! ;)


TITLE: Thoughts of Family  
AUTHOR: Liquid Thalassa  
E-MAIL: liquidthalassa@yahoo.com  
RATING: G  
SHIP: none  
SPOILERS: Carlos general up until last night's (2-13) eppy  
SUMMARY: Carlos reflects on family and belonging  
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Third Watch belong to John Wells and Warner  
Brothers.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: it might look like a poem with the short sentences, but it's  
not. It's more like a stream of thought thingy. I came up with this after  
last night's eppy. I've always liked Carlos- even when he was an ass- and  
thought I'd try to get into his thoughts about family. It may not be that  
great, but I hope it was enjoyable. Please let me know what you think.  
  
HERE IT IS:  
  
For so long I lacked the one thing I thought I'd never have.  
Would never know or feel.  
Family.  
I was the foster-kid.  
Bounced around unwanted from one house to another.  
Forgotten.  
Unloved.  
With no one.  
No body to call my own.  
To call family.  
For so long I feed off of this.  
My confusion, hate, and bitterness concentrating into the person I am.  
The person I became.  
Cold, uncaring and aloof.  
A jackass.  
Sarcastic and alone.  
Was it my fault?  
I was the product of my upbringing, I didn't ask for this, to be like this.  
All I ever wanted was to be wanted, needed, loved.  
Then like a dream Christian came.  
My brother.  
Flesh and blood.  
He said Mom and them had been looking for their little brother.  
Searching.  
Hoping to find him.  
I couldn't believe it really.  
I always thought they never cared.  
It was weird- to be around him a first.  
How do brothers act?  
I have no idea.  
You're name was Adam, he told me.  
Adam.  
Was that ironic or what?  
Me "Adam" working as a paramedic driving bus "Adam 55-3".  
After a while I got used to Christian.  
I was grateful.  
He saved Kylie's life and in a way my own.  
We sat, drinking beers and talking.  
Of our mother, of memories he wanted to share.  
They celebrated my birthday every year, he said.  
I never had a birthday party.  
No one ever cared.  
I told him of my life.  
Sparing him the details that even I wish to block out forever.  
I was jealous.  
We- both of the same blood, the same origin- received so different lots in  
life.  
He was a district attorney in Hawaii. He grew up in a loving home with  
people who cared.  
And I...We all know how I turned out.  
I became a better person though. I realized I can't define myself but where  
I came from but what I become.  
I was a paramedic, I helped people.  
Saved lives everyday.  
All along I was needed.  
Needed on the streets.  
Needed by the hurt, sick and injured.  
Though it wasn't until last night that I realized I had a family all along.  
I went to Doc's party, not wanting to go home alone.  
I was sick of loneliness.  
Of Pity.  
I've changed.  
They all knew it, so it made things that much easier.  
I was funny, conversational.  
I was Carlos.  
I didn't think he would show up, he said he had to catch his flight.  
But he did.  
He brought a book full of all the photos he took and began to talk.  
I stood there next to him, listening to his worlds.  
"I realized he had a family", Christian said, "he has all of you."  
I look around at all of the people, all of the faces that I knew.  
It was true.  
I had a family all along.  
A sense of completeness filled me in such a way that I almost cried.  
Almost.  
For so long I thought I lacked the one thing I thought I'd never have.  
I was blind.  
Doc. Kim. Jimmy. Alex. Bosco. Faith. Monroe. Cruz. Ty. Sully. Lieu.  
They were all there for me.  
My brother left back to Honolulu.  
I'll miss him but I know he's there.  
I know he cares and loves me.  
I walked down the street, with a smile on my face and entered the 55.  
Kim looked at me-paused in her task of making tea- with a curious look on  
her face. "What's up Carlos?" She asked.  
I set my bag down and looked around. "Nothing." I said with a smile. She  
looked at me and shook her head, mumbling something about me being Carlos.  
And then at that moment I knew I was home.  
With my family.  
Those who serve and protect and care.  
Those of the 5-5.  
The End  
@~~~~~  
What do you think? Let me know (please, please)! Oh and this is a one-shot.  
Though I could always write an actual fic dealing with Carlos, like I have  
in the past...anyone want me to? 


End file.
